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About Help

 Hear this tip! About Help 2m42s

Are you missing out? One of my daughter’s earliest sentences was “I do myself.” Although there is much to be said for being self-sufficient, there are also times when two or more working together is a better course. Sometimes, sharing the joy of exploration benefits not just the learner but also the teacher. Sometimes, the one who has gone before can eliminate roadblocks and dead ends, while the one who is new can bring energy and new perspectives. Sometimes, two or more can accomplish what one alone cannot.

What are some signs more are better than one? When we have a vision of what is possible but only some of the skill required to make the vision real, that is a time to engage with another. When we have more fun when we are part of a team, that is a time to engage with another. When we have the skill but want new ideas or someone who can move forward even when we are not available, that is a time to engage with another.

Now that we’re connected, what do we do? We create the state of being that allows all involved to benefit most from the enterprise. We identify the outcomes we want, both individually and for us as a team. If we feel stuck, we stop and return to our desired outcomes, refocus, and select the next action step that gets us heading in the direction we want, together.

Now what? I’ve shared monthly Tips with you since 2005, and now this is the last monthly Tip Sheet. You can find archived tips here and more recent tips here. You can also read my book, Live Light: Simple Steps, available as a paperback or for Kindle through Amazon, for expanded tips with accompanying coaching questions. And you can follow me on Twitter and subscribe to this RSS feed for new posts.

Now, I am turning my time and energy to making other visions of mine real. I have a specific vision for what I want to accomplish, and I know that to accomplish what I want it’s time to create a team of people who complement my own talents.  Keep an eye out for news and an invitation to join in and collaborate on that for which we share a passion!

My warmest wishes,

Leanne

Get on the Path. Stay on the Path.

Hear this tip! Get On the Path 3m14s

“Pay attention. Pay attention to the reactions of your body. It is the wisdom of the Self speaking to you. Be aware of concern or anticipation, of all the feelings that come from the Self. They manifest in the body. What is their counsel?”
- Jacqueline Winspear (with thanks to Shelley Greenberg for sharing the quote)

Wait, there’s a path? Yes. There is a path. Your path. I don’t know what your path is, and no one else can tell you what your path is, either.  Just knowing that there is a path is enough. Enough to begin your journey back. Enough to know that there is a better way.

How do I know if I’m on or off the path? Your body is telling you every moment whether you are on or off the path. It may be screaming, or it may be whispering. Are you listening? Look at your body. Feel your body. Are you overweight? Do you stand awkwardly? Is your body out of alignment? Do you have pain? The more we allow ourselves to move off the path, and the longer we stay off our path, the more we open ourselves to disease. Dis. Ease. This shows up in our body in ways large and small. Notice. Although it’s never too late to get on the path, we can make it easier for ourselves by acting sooner rather than later.

How do I get on the path? Getting on the path begins, for most people, with an ending. At some point, you say, “I’ve had enough. I’m not doing this anymore.” Examine how you spend your time, money, and energy nowadays. What is draining you? What is energizing you? How can you get more of what energizes you? What happens in your body when you do more of what energizes you? What happens in your body when you do less of what drains you? Being energized means you are on the path.

How do I stay on the path? Staying on the path is not so much a matter of will as it is a matter of learning the skills to take a single step in the right direction when will has disappeared. We can learn skills that help us stay on the path. Write down what enables you to get on the path. Write down what enables you to stay on the path. Do more of it.

Want a partner in getting and staying on your path? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

About Help

Connect Spaciously

May 2011

Hear this tip! Connect Spaciously 2m06s

Spaciously connect. Whatever we are doing, wherever we are, we can connect spaciously. In connecting spaciously we add the being component to the doing action of connecting. Although we can connect with someone by being interested in them, what they are doing, and who they are, or  even connect in the blink of an eye as we experience commonality, when we connect spaciously, we are more. We have shifted into being: being open, beyond judgement, hearts bigger than the universe. We accept others completely for who they are in the moment while having full faith and confidence that they can be whatever they want.

What happens when we connect spaciously? In our space of complete, connected acceptance, we are nonreactive. Through our nonreactivity, we change the state of being and the doing of the people with whom we connect. Equally as important, we change ourselves. We feel what we are capable of, and have the courage to move forward despite fear.

How can we cultivate our ability to connect spaciously? It is easier to remember to and to connect spaciously when we are present. Knowing this, we can observe what enables us to be present and do more of it. Some might find yoga, meditation, having free time, and being in nature beneficial. Find what works for you. Do more of it.

Want a partner in connecting spaciously? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

Get on the path. Stay on the path.

Keep Going

April 2011

Hear this tip! Keep Going 2m28s

99% is showing up. Again. And again. And again. The other day we walked from National Harbour to the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, a round trip of about 4 miles, half uphill. My son began asking how far we were going after about a half mile. My own feet felt tired, and I wanted a nap. But I knew that I would enjoy the walk, the view, and the company, and so I chose to keep going, placing one foot in front of another, again, and again, and again. When we reached the summit, we were delighted! We had a grand view of the Potomac River, read the historical markers, enjoyed the busyness of the bridge, and spied boats on the river brought close by the free binoculars. Our ability to keep moving, despite all the naysaying inside us, led us to experience joy.

There was a moment, though…. … a moment almost to and within view of the summit, when I thought about stopping. In some way, because I could see the summit, it seemed as good as finishing. But what was in my head was not the same as reality. In my head, I did not know about the binoculars, the bald eagles’ nest, or the joy of completion. And although I could see the summit, I could see nothing of what came after. I’ve started to notice when I feel that point of wanting to stop, recognize it, and then choose to keep going to see, feel, and hear, what more there is.

But isn’t there a time to quit? Yes, there is a time to quit some things, or at least change our approach. But if we are in the habit of stopping when we are almost there – even if we don’t know we are so close – we have the opportunity to notice our desire to quit, and to keep going just a bit further to see what happens.

Want a partner in keeping going? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

Connect Spaciously

Purpose

Knowing PurposeHear this tip! Purpose 1m50s

What’s all the talk about purpose? You may have read, seen, or heard talk of purpose. Some say that our time to think and talk about our “purpose” is a luxury permitted by the fact of our basic needs being met – and in many cases exceeded. Is it? Or is it in and of itself a fundamentally human characteristic? One that people have talked about from the beginning of time?

What is so attractive about purpose? You know. You know because you have experienced those moments in life when you felt that you were exactly where you were meant to be, doing exactly what you were supposed to be doing, and feeling a tremendous sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in your doing and being. You felt the arrow hit bullseye.

How do we cultivate purpose in our lives? Think about those times when the arrow hit home. Describe in writing your experience and what you got from your experience. Do so for 8 of such experiences. Select the words that are key for you. Post the words where you see them everyday. Identify several specific, measurable, attainable, positive, personal, present tense ways you can bring more of those characteristics into your life. Take action.

We are each unique. Not terminally unique, but unique in that we have a one-of-a-kind set of skills and experiences. Why mess around? Why not use those skills for what brings satisfaction and fulfillment, for each of us? Times’ a’ ticking.

Want a partner in getting clarity on purpose? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

Keep Going

Emotions ‘r’ Us – Or Are They?

Hear this tip! Sitting 2m56s

Look at the picture. What emotion do you experience as you look? Do you place a label on the emotion you feel? Happy? Sad? Do you tell a story to go with what you are seeing?

What if, instead of using words, you simply feel? Look again at the picture. Let go of the story. Let go of any words that come into the mind. Sit with the emotion. Sit with the emotion. Sit with the emotion. Notice where you feel the emotion in your body. Sit with the emotion. When ready, keep living.*

Sitting is powerful. Sometimes when we feel emotions we label as bad, difficult, or sad, we are inclined to ignore the emotion. We turn away from it mentally and sometimes physically, and focus on something we feel is positive. But when we do that, we are in fact killing ourselves, a little at a time. By choosing instead to sit with the emotion, we are living, fully. We are integrating every piece of us. We are valuing who we are. We are learning what it is our time to learn.

Life is incredible. When we sit with our emotions we become honest with ourselves, which makes us honest in the world, in our relationships with everyone around us. That clear light is brilliant, blinding, even frightening when we first experience it, perhaps saddening when we realize how much we’ve been missing. The past does not matter. There is always time for today. For change. For life.

Want a partner in sitting with emotion? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

* Read more about the process of sitting with emotion in Pema Chodron’s book Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears.

Next month

Purpose

3 Keys to Conscious Choice

Hear this tip! 3Keys 2m36s

What is the 1st key to conscious choice? When we are able to see/feel/hear the causal connection between our action “in the moment” and what happens in the future as a result of our action now, we are more likely to act consciously. For example, “If I eat this today, I know in a week I will have a cold and be out from work, sick.” OR “If I say this, I create a groove in my mind and a belief that affects how I interact with people, and may hurt someone’s feelings.” The further away in time or chain of events the result, the harder it is to see the connection. With practice and by starting with the small and obvious, we grow our ability to know even distant connections.

What is the 2nd key?
Once we are able to see/feel/hear the connection between our immediate action and future results, we must be able to step back from our desire for immediate gratification. “But I really, really want this pizza NOW.” How do I get up from the table, instead? OR “I’m mad and want to say this NOW.” How do I stick to right speech? OR “I really want to buy this geegaw, NOW.” How do we keep our money in our pocket? In all cases, the question is “How do I choose the path that gets me the long-term results I want?” Everyone has a different answer. Notice when you are able to step away from immediate gratification. Write down what works for you. Do it more often.

What is the 3rd key?
What if we are oblivious to what is right? Or we only think we’re right? How do we shift perspective so we DO see/hear/feel what is real? By asking ourselves questions about our underlying emotions and motivations, peeling away layers to discover new views of ourselves, and examining our views. The peeling and the examining help make our choices conscious. And there is always something new to discover, right here at home.

Want a partner in making conscious choices? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

Emotions ‘R’ Us – Or Are They?

Wholeness

Hear this tip! Audio 1m 54s

What is wholeness? Although we describe different things we want to do or have because we believe they will make us whole, wholeness is in fact a feeling rather than a doing or getting. Since we have quite a bit of influence over how we feel, wholeness rests largely in our own hands.

How do we feel wholeness? While wholeness is a feeling, there are actions we can take to create the feeling. We can state specifically that for which we are grateful. We can be content with who we are and what we have. We can accept what is and concurrently do what we can to create what we want, while releasing attachment to outcome.

How do we make wholeness a habit? Practice. Practice. Practice some more. We get better at what we want to accomplish when we practice. If we want to learn a foreign language, we don’t expect to become fluent by learning one word a month. Rather, we immerse ourselves. By practicing, practicing, practicing gratitude, contentment, acceptance, detachment, and creating, we immerse ourselves in wholeness. Life gets better. We get better. We become fluent. We feel wholeness.

Want a partner in accessing wholeness? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

Three Keys to Conscious Choice

On the Banks

Hear this tip! Audio 1m 54s

Close your eyes. Picture a person resting on the banks of a gently flowing river. The river flows by actively, but the person rests, peaceful, breathing easily, mindfully aware of the surroundings yet turned inward, feeling neither a desire to act nor a desire to be still, simply being.

Anytime we want, we can be the person on the banks. Rather than get caught up in the stream of our thoughts, swimming for dear life, we can consciously step onto the banks and choose to rest. We can watch the river flow by, notice our thoughts, yet recognize that our thoughts are not us. Our thoughts are just thoughts. We have the power to choose what to do with them. We can let them flow by. We can act on them. We can change them.

What is the person on the banks doing? We can also use our person as an indicator of  thoughts that carry emotional weight for us. Hmm, a thought flowed by in the stream and the person is sitting upright, peering after it! What’s that about? Hmm, another thought flowed by and the person is on their feet, ready to jump in! What is that about? Bit by bit, we get to know ourselves, to understand our triggers, our attachments, our emotions, and how what we think and feel affects how we act. Little by little, we grow our ability to act in the way we want.

Want a partner in getting out of the river? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Next month

Wholeness

What’s It Worth?

Hear this tip! Audio 2m56s

Time is money.

Just what does this phrase mean, anyway? I have always thought of this phrase as meaning that using time in a certain way gets me money. Lately I have come to think of it very differently. I have 2 new intepretations. First, money is time. Second, time IS money.

Money is time. To my mind, money is time means that every penny I spend is an external representation of my time. It took me some of my life time to earn that money. Now I am spending the money, which means I am spending time. Am I buying wisely? Do I care about what I am buying? Is the time I spent to earn the money to acquire the thing worth it? If not, what do I want to do differently?

Time IS money. The corollary meaning I see nowadays is that by having time to do what I want, when I want, I am rich. Flush with cash! It reminds me of the wealthy businessman who went on a vacation for the first time in years. He visited a small fishing village, where he saw a fisherman go out in the morning and come back a few hours later, with food to eat and a free afternoon ahead of him. The businessman approached the fisherman and asked him if he would be interested in going into business with him. The businessman explained that by doing so he would catch more fish, sell them to more people further away, get a bigger boat, and work more. The fisherman asked him why he would do it, and the businessman answered that in this way the fisherman would be able to take a vacation. ! The fisherman responded, “No, thanks. I enjoy my life now, working as much as I want and spending time with my friends and family.” For the fisherman, every day was a vacation.

Every second we choose how to use our time. Are we choosing consciously? Are we choosing wisely? Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, days, weeks, years, and finally, years become our lifetime. Are we spending our lifetime on what matters most to us?

Want a partner in choosing how to use time? Call me at 703-297-2224 or email me!

Also available as an ITunes Podcast!

Next month:

On the Banks

In loving memory of Diane Hetherington, d.09.28.2010

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